How Can I Forgive Myself?

This week at Almond Union of Churches, we continued our series on Forgiveness:  The real F word.  While last week we looked at how to make sure we were forgiven by God in  a message titled Finding Forgiveness, this week we look at how to forgive ourselves, in a message titled, How Can I Forgive Myself.

I identified three steps I must carry out to be able to truly forgive myself.  Last week we looked in depth at the first.  This week we summarized that message by going over the three steps again:  We must 1) recognize our need for God, 2) return to God, 3) receive forgiveness through Jesus and what He did on the cross.  but possibly the most important part of that message was that forgiveness is available to everyone who will turn to God and earnestly seek it.  The first step in my being able to forgive myself, is to come to God seeking forgiveness from Him, and knowing for sure that I have been forgiven.  Forgiveness by God enables me to forgive myself.  I can't possibly forgive myself if God hasn't first forgiven me.

The second step in my forgiving myself is to change my behavior.  We call this repentance.  I will never be able to forgive myself for something if I'm still doing it.  If I'm feeling grief and shame and despair, and I desperately want to be able to forgive myself for this, I've got to stop doing it.  I've got to turn away from the wrong behavior that caused these feelings of regret, and I've got to turn to God and make sure I get right with God again.

The third and final step in being able to forgive myself is to create a new future for myself.  Many people who experience the pain and regret and despair from sin fail here.  They are tempted to withdraw and isolate themselves and continue on in the pain they feel.  In order for us to get past it, we've got to truly start again, to step out in faith in the path God has for us.

If you would like to read the entire message, click on the title below.  You will also find an audio link if you would rather listen to it.

Forgiveness:  How Can Forgive Myself?

Not Quarrelsome, etc...

And the servant of the Lord must not quarrel 

but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient.

- 2 Timothy 2:24

In putting together our weekly email newsletter, I came across this passage.  The devotion used in the newsletter focused on making sure we are not quarrelsome.  Our motivation for arguing, even if we think we are arguing on God's behalf, is usually more self-focused than God-focused, and any argument we might get involved in will only detract from our Christian witness.  

We will never win anyone to Jesus by arguing with them.  You reflect a Christlike character by demonstrating patience to those who mistreat you or don't agree with you.

But on reflecting on that passage, there is a lot more to it.  Not only do we need to abstain from quarrels, but we must also "be gentle to all, able to teach, and patient."

Being gentle to all can mean a couple of different things.  Related to the first part of the verse, being gentle can mean not to argue.  But it also carries a little more to it.  The dictionary defines gentle as being mild in temperament or behavior.  It means we don't get upset, at least not that others can see.  So we need to be in control of our emotions, not letting anybody trigger any negative reactions from us.  Back to the dictionary, one of the synonyms for gentle was tender.  We are to be tender people, always caring about others, always looking to help in a tender manner.  Another synonym was meek, and we remember that the meek are especially blessed, for they shall inherit the earth (Matthew 6:15).

We are also to be "able to teach."  Many times we might argue with someone in an effort to try to teach them.  But certainly that's not a very effective teaching strategy.  So I think that Paul might suggest to alternatives.  First, know God's Word well enough to let it do the talking.  Quote from Scripture, or at least tell the gist of what a passage says if you can't remember it word for word (but make sure you get it right!).  God's Word is a two edged sword (Rev. 1:16).  In fact, it's the only offensive weapon we have in our armor of God (Eph. 6:11-17).  Just don't use it offensively!  Remember to be gentle to all at the same time.

I'm also reminded of Peter's charge to always be prepared with an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope you have (1 Peter 3:15).  That is way of teaching someone, and sharing your faith with them, in a way that shouldn't ever lead to an argument.  Our faith fills us with hope, because we know Jesus, the prince of peace.  We know that the Holy Spirit is with us, leading and guiding us.  And while troubles may come, we know the Lord will bring us through, so we can praise Him even in the midst of our troubles. That brings a peace others just can't know.

Finally, the verse tells us to be patient.  That's a hard one, isn't it.  But if we know that the Holy Spirit is always with us, leading and guiding us, and that the Lord really will bring us safely out of our troubles, and we really do praise Him even in our sufferings, then we need not worry about anything, because we know that we are the Lord's.  We can turn over all troubles to Jesus, and rest secure in the knowledge that in all things, we are His.  With that knowledge secure, we can be patient.  Understanding that God is in control.  Even when behind a slow motorist.  Even when someone is taking forever in the shopping line.  Even when talking to someone who won't end the conversation even if we're in a hurry.  

If you struggle with patience, Proverbs tells us "a man's wisdom gives him patience" (Proverbs 19:11).  And since wisdom comes from God (Prov 2:6), we can pray for wisdom, and work on growing closer to God.  The wisest men I've know have all had the closest walks with the Lord. 

Paul gave Timothy a lot to think about with this verse.  Don't quarrel, be gentle, able to teach, and patient...

Forgiveness: The Real F Word

On Sunday, we started a new sermon series titled Forgiveness:  The Real F Word.

I subtitled this series The Real F Word for two reasons.  First, it grabs your attention.  When you hear it you think "what?"  But second, forgiveness really is a word that many just don't understand.  Most people don't understand forgiveness, there are a lot of strange ideas of what it means and what it requires - and for some, it really is almost a dirty word.  So the real F word in the title fits.  Most people don't want to talk about forgiveness, fewer will admit they need forgiveness, and fewer yet freely give forgiveness.

This week we talked about the ultimate forgiveness, the level of forgiveness we all must receive if we ever hope to enter in the kingdom of God.  It's forgiveness from God.  How can assure that we are forgiven by God?  

We looked at the Parable of the Prodigal Son for some keys to forgiveness.  It was a great message on a very important topic. 

If you would like to read the message, or hear the audio recording of it, click the title below. 

10-14 - Finding Forgiveness

Thanks for reading!

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