How Can I Forgive Myself?

This week at Almond Union of Churches, we continued our series on Forgiveness:  The real F word.  While last week we looked at how to make sure we were forgiven by God in  a message titled Finding Forgiveness, this week we look at how to forgive ourselves, in a message titled, How Can I Forgive Myself.

I identified three steps I must carry out to be able to truly forgive myself.  Last week we looked in depth at the first.  This week we summarized that message by going over the three steps again:  We must 1) recognize our need for God, 2) return to God, 3) receive forgiveness through Jesus and what He did on the cross.  but possibly the most important part of that message was that forgiveness is available to everyone who will turn to God and earnestly seek it.  The first step in my being able to forgive myself, is to come to God seeking forgiveness from Him, and knowing for sure that I have been forgiven.  Forgiveness by God enables me to forgive myself.  I can't possibly forgive myself if God hasn't first forgiven me.

The second step in my forgiving myself is to change my behavior.  We call this repentance.  I will never be able to forgive myself for something if I'm still doing it.  If I'm feeling grief and shame and despair, and I desperately want to be able to forgive myself for this, I've got to stop doing it.  I've got to turn away from the wrong behavior that caused these feelings of regret, and I've got to turn to God and make sure I get right with God again.

The third and final step in being able to forgive myself is to create a new future for myself.  Many people who experience the pain and regret and despair from sin fail here.  They are tempted to withdraw and isolate themselves and continue on in the pain they feel.  In order for us to get past it, we've got to truly start again, to step out in faith in the path God has for us.

If you would like to read the entire message, click on the title below.  You will also find an audio link if you would rather listen to it.

Forgiveness:  How Can Forgive Myself?

How should we handle persecution?

I was reading in our local paper this past week about a group of pastors who are advocating armed guards in our church services.

Of particular interest was one from the church in Colorado where the recent shooting took place. I’m sure you remember hearing about that church. A gunman killed two people in a missionary training school, then drove a couple of hours to a mega-church, where he killed two in the parking lot, and entered the church heavily armed. A church volunteer serving as a security guard shot him before he could kill anyone else. Her bravery under fire certainly saved the lives of countless people.

But is it Christian? According to Scripture, we are told very clearly that if we live a life that honors Christ, we will be persecuted. In this country, especially in the past, that persecution has been limited to some who might avoid you at social gatherings, or perhaps a snide comment from time to time. We are all aware that we have it quite easy. Perhaps that is changing. We also know that in many places in the world, Christians are kidnapped, tortured, even killed for professing their faith. Rarely, if ever, do we hear of them fighting back.

We know that Christ was persecuted to death, and that as a lamb is silent before it sheerers, he was silent before the persecution he faced. We hear of several in the early church that were persecuted, and accepted it as part of their faith, even if it meant dying a horrendous death. They even felt honored that they would be seen as worthy of following in Christ’s footsteps.

How can they do that? How can they face persecution so bravely? Even almost willingly? Because they were following the example of Christ. Because they knew without a doubt that the Kingdom of God is so much better than this current kingdom. Because they know what they believe.

I’ve heard it said that statistically there is very little difference between American Christians, and the world around them. So perhaps armed security guards in American churches isn’t so far fetched. But is it Christian? Or is it one more example of our trusting in ourselves, rather than trusting in God?

Finding peace in what you can't understand...

On Thursday I performed a funeral for a young man who died suddenly. He was my age, and in getting to know him, I found that we had a lot in common.

It’s hard to explain the death of someone in their late 40’s. In fact, you can’t explain it. We come to funerals like this showing our lack of understanding. There really is so much that we don’t understand. Most of the time we can hide it well, we can appear to be in control of our own lives, our own destiny. But once in a while something happens that seems very unfair, shockingly unfair, and we realize that we really don’t understand as much as we might have thought we understood.

These things that we can’t understand can rock our world. They shake our foundations. We thought we knew a little bit about life, and then something happens to remind us we really don’t. But we want to. More than anything, the human race wants to understand. We pursue understanding. Everyone of us, to some extent, thinks we understand things. We all develop our own opinions. We believe we know the way things are. So it can be particularly devastating to find that we don’t understand the really big things. Life. Death. Disease. As hard as we try, we find that there is always more that we don’t understand, then what we do understand.

Perhaps one of God’s greatest blessings is the ability to find peace, even in those situations we may never understand. Peace is one of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). Understanding isn’t.

When your foundations are shaken, seek God’s peace. We may never understand, but we may find peace.

Why the tragedy of school shootings...

This morning in the news, I just read of the tragic shooting yesterday on the campus of Northern Illinois University in Dekalb, Illinois. As it stands now, the death toll is at seven, with at least fifteen others shot and injured.

On the radio this morning, the DJ’s were trying to make some sense of the shooting. They suggested that when we teach that we are evolved from monkeys, barely a step removed from the rest of the animal kingdom, that life looses a little of its value.

They suggested that the violence on TV desensitizes us to violence in our lives. We see people shot every evening, why is such a big deal. We learn at a very early age of the violence in our streets (whether it’s really there or not!). They had some other comments that were similar in nature, and they all make at least some sense, though all very general in nature.

If we think about it at all, we have to realize that it’s not just this morning’s event. We are hearing about these more and more. On college campuses, high school campuses, shopping malls. Wherever people gather, we might hear of this kind of horror. And we hear about it more and more. We are still safe, but not as safe as we were years ago.

I have a slightly different theory on the shootings. This week I am preaching on 1 Corinthians 13, what is often called the “Love Chapter.” This chapter talk about what real love is – and isn’t. And I am reminded of 1 John 4:16, which tells us “God is love.”

As we reflect on this, it’s fairly obvious that the opposite of love is hate. But as I go further, it occurs to me that they’re not just opposites. It occurs to me that the very absence of love is hate. And while over 90% of the population claim to believe in some kind of God, they apparently don’t know very much about that God, as fewer than 20% actually go to church. So more and more we are seeing an absence of God. And, if the Bible is true, if God is love, we would expect to see more and more an absence of love.

So in a world where love is increasing absent, we would expect to see more and more hate. And the results of this kind of hate are very widespread, but one of the symptoms may very well be what we saw yesterday on the campus of Northern Illinois University.

Bricks that you can't build with

Here is quote that I came across last week that I really liked:

“God whispers in your soul and speaks to your mind. Sometimes, you don’t have time to listen, and He has to throw a brick at you. It’s your choice: Listen to the whisper, or wait for the brick.”

Just a short thought for today – are you listening? Or does God occasionally have to use a brick?

A Great Tragedy

I have been doing a lot of reflection on the recent church shootings in Colorado. I have wanted to write about this for a while, and have been reflecting on this hoping for some level of understanding. At the expense of making some terrible generality, I want to comment on the tragedy. And even perhaps touch on an even greater tragedy in the Church in America today

As a reminder, last Saturday evening, December 8, Matthew Murray showed up at the doors of Youth With A Mission, a center that trains youth to serve as oversees missionaries. While there, he opened fire; killing two young staff members, and injuring two others, one in critical condition. About eleven hours later, he shows up at the New Life Church in Colorado Springs, about 80 miles away, again opening fire. In the parking lot, he killed two sisters in their mid-teens, and injured their father. Then he entered the church with about a thousand rounds of ammunition, where he was shot by a volunteer security guard.

What would make someone snap like this? Matthew was brought up in the church, and certainly knew all about the Christian faith. In fact, he was serious enough about his faith that he himself wanted to become an overseas missionary, and was enrolled in the Youth With A Mission program a few years ago. When a mission’s opportunity came up, he was overlooked. I’ve heard two explanations for this, either the staff didn’t feel he was ready, or there was a health issue that prevented him from going on this particular assignment. Either way, he didn’t go.

I don’t know what happened in the years after this incident that would cause him to snap and seek revenge for the “hurt” that was caused.

However, a comment that I will make is that while he knew in his head the teachings of Christ, it might be safe to assume that those teachings never got into his heart.

While he knew of Jesus, he didn’t know Jesus. Evidentially he fooled a lot of people. Perhaps Youth With A Mission discovered that he wasn’t really surrendered to his faith. Or perhaps there really was a health issue and they were fooled, too.

There are several differences between knowing about Jesus, and knowing Jesus. One of the differences is surrender. When you really know the person of Jesus, you will give yourself to him completely. You will be surrendered to Him. It will no longer be about what is best for you, it will be what is best for Jesus.

Another difference is the Holy Spirit. When we truly know Jesus, we are filled with the Holy Spirit. When we have the Holy Spirit, the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control) begin to manifest themselves in our lives. We are not capable of committing the tragedy of December 9, when we are filled with the Holy Spirit.

The point I want to make is that our church pews are filled with people who know about Jesus, but don’t personally know Jesus. The greatest tragedy in our church today is that we don't realize that our faith is not about a religion, doing the right things at the right times – it’s about a relationship with the God who created us and loves us and wants us to love Him and to love others.

Without the relationship, there is no Holy Spirit. Without the relationship, we are just going through the motions. And if that’s the case, it may only be the grace of God that we don’t snap as well….

Your comments are welcome.